Oh how life has happened, and the reality of "first year teacher" really settled in. Still a great reality, but one that leaves little time for updating blogs! I love my job but it has been 4 months of tears, frustration, joy, worry, stress, fear, and reward. How many of you get to experience all that in 4 months? And still stay yes I love my job and yes things truly are going wonderfully.
I am learning 5 important things that will sum up that time between August and now:
1. I can't do it all, the right away...perfectly....all the time. WHEW that feels GOOD to say. If you know me you are aware that I like things to be oh just right. I can't play dominoes because they must stay straight, and I can't stand it when I don't get things right. I also will not be the world's best teacher for a long time, if ever. Does that even exist, "the world's best." And that is okay, I have tons to learn, but I am learning that is okay. I bite off a lot thinking I must impress everyone. But the truth is I don't have to impress everyone. I just have to walk away everyday knowing that maybe today, a kid learned something valuable. Be it addition facts or to wash their hands before lunch. Or even if they didn't learn something, I at least planted a seed for a lesson later. And I am learning everyday too, and that is wonderful!
2. I can't fix them all, I can just care about them all. The first two months of my school year were full of tears and frustration because I thought I could fix a 6 year old who had been through more then any one person should ever have to go through in their life, let alone a child. And all I could do was reach out and get help for him.
3. Sometimes you just have to close the classroom door and go home! I can still be a great teacher if I go home before 9 o'clock at night.
4. The classroom cannot be my life! I have struggled SO much with this one. Being a terrible friend because by the time I get home every night it is too late to call and see how my closest friends are doing. Furthermore-sometimes it is nice to have a whole conversation without mentioning school, lessons, student, or anything related to education. But lucky for me not only do my friends and family understand but they support me in every way possible and for that I am the most blessed.
5. Just say NO-I can tell my mentor teacher NO I cannot volunteer for any more committees, I can tell my level chair NO I have no idea how to plan that field trip. I really thought the only way I would succeed was to say yes to everything, instead I am learning that the way I will succeed is to sometimes say no-I have too much on my plate.
So as you can see.....it has been a wonderful, emotional, and educational past 4 months. Yes it is still everything I ever wanted in my career. Yes I cry when a parent writes me a thank you note, because I made their child feel special without ever realizing it. And yes I do a cheer with a student who finally passed their plus 1's after 3 months of "just one more." And yes I have consumed a few glasses of wine over my first semester as Mrs. Mcgrew first grade teacher ;)
So here is to another post and maybe even another one.....4 months later, or next week, we will see :)
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